What Are The Friends With Benefits Rules?
So you’ve got yourself a friend with benefits? And now you’re wondering what are the rules of engagement?
We’ve put together a list of do’s and do not’s to ensure your friend with benefits is just that… and nothing more!
The ‘DO’ List:
- Be respectful – don’t lose sight of common courtesies like saying thankyou and returning a phone call or text
- Be honest – going behind someone’s back isn’t cool, be honest and communicate up front
- Use protection – if it’s just a casual thing, don’t risk it, cover up to avoid unwanted pregnancy or STD’s
- Be prepared to communicate – a casual relationship still involves feelings, we’re all human. Communication can help keep a relationship casual if that’s what you want. Miscommunication and misunderstanding can end a casual relationship as quickly as it started.
- Adjust your expectations – we often have the same expectations in a casual relationship as we would in a committed relationship. Tone down your expectations based on the casual nature of your relationship.
- Be relaxed – be calm and take your time. Dropping the ‘m’ word during a casual fling can freak the other person out.
The ‘DONT’S’ List:
- Friend each other on Facebook – seeing the other person’s communication with other members of the opposite sex can lead to jealousy and misunderstandings… avoid these potential issues by keeping your online-lives separate.
- Play games – they only lead to confusion and trigger insecurities which lead to emotional outbursts.
- Buy gifts – giving gifts to a casual partner can lead to confusion over the direction the relationship is going. If you want to give a gift make it something you can both enjoy like a dinner, sporting activity, social event. Avoid physical gifts that they will ‘remember you by’.
- Meet the family – avoid the ‘meet my parents’ dinners and get togethers as this can lead to questions and/or expectations from well-meaning parents, not to mention being uncomfortable for your partner. If one or both of you have kids, discuss in advance if you’re going to get involved at that level. Kids can become attached very easily and you don’t want their attachment influencing your decisions about your casual partner.
- Sleepovers – if you don’t want her as your girlfriend (or him as your boyfriend) don’t treat them like one by having sleepovers 5 nights a week. For a friend with benefits… no more than 3 sleepovers per week!
More Rules For a Happy Sex Buddy Relationship
Many people are choosing to forgo traditional relationships and instead, choosing a friends with benefits relationship.
Though this might not seem like a good relationship for everyone, and it isn’t, some people really love the freedom that being friends with benefits gives them.
Here are 10 more friends with benefits rules:
1 – Be Clear About Your Intentions
It’s very important for a FWB relationship to work as it should that you lay out the rules from day one.
Most people get into these relationships because they don’t want to have to deal with things like commitment or dating drama.
It is important that you share your feelings about this with your partner and make sure they agree before you start.
2 – Try to Keep Your Other Friends Apart
A FWB relationship can be great, but you don’t need to shout it to the rooftops.
It’s really no one’s business besides your own, so try to keep your other friends from finding out about it…it will only lead to complications down the road.
3 – Don’t Get Shocked if They See Others
You also need to make sure you aren’t getting surprised if your FWB starts seeing someone else.
After all, there is no commitment here and they can see who they wish to see. Of course, that means you can too.
4 – Use Protection
Because you both may be seeing other people and this won’t be a monogamous relationship, you need to make sure that you are protecting yourself.
This should go without saying, but some people just get into the groove of the relationship and forget this important rule.
5 – Know It’s Short Term
Most of the time these relationships don’t last long term and it’s important for you to remember that.
Eventually, odds are one of you will find a new partner and a more serious relationship.
6 – Experiment With Sex
With a friend with benefits, you can really throw caution to the wind and try new things that you have always been curious about in the bedroom.
This is the perfect time to let loose.
7 – Go Out, But Don’t Date
When you have a friend with benefits, it is definitely acceptable to go out and grab a meal or drink.
However, you shouldn’t make this seem like a date. It would only complicate things.
8 – Watch Your Emotions
It isn’t totally uncommon for people in this type of relationship to start developing romantic feelings for each other.
But, that might not be acceptable to the partner. If you do find yourself developing feelings, talk to your friend about it and decide what the best course of action is.
9 – Don’t See Each Other Too Often
The more you see your FWB the closer you will become.
This is why it is best to space out your meetings and possibly even refuse a meeting every so often.
It is perfectly acceptable to say ‘no’ if you aren’t looking for a hook up on any particular night.
10 – Remember to Keep Looking
If you are interested in more than a friends with benefits relationship, keep looking.
That right person is certainly out there. If you aren’t looking for something more serious, still keep looking.
It is perfectly acceptable to have more than one friend with benefits and this way, if you do find another one, you won’t be as dependent on the first.
This greatly limits drama which most people in these situations are trying to avoid.