Friends With Benefits Rules
So you’ve got yourself a friend with benefits? And now you’re wondering what are the rules of engagement?
We’ve put together a list of do’s and do not’s to ensure your friend with benefits is just that… and nothing more!
Rules of Friends with Benefits -The ‘DO’ List:
- Be respectful – don’t lose sight of common courtesies like saying thankyou and returning a phone call or text
- Be honest – going behind someone’s back isn’t cool, be honest and communicate up front
- Use protection – if it’s just a casual thing, don’t risk it, cover up to avoid unwanted pregnancy or STD’s
- Be prepared to communicate – a casual relationship still involves feelings, we’re all human. Communication can help keep a relationship casual if that’s what you want. Miscommunication and misunderstanding can end a casual relationship as quickly as it started.
- Adjust your expectations – we often have the same expectations in a casual relationship as we would in a committed relationship. Tone down your expectations based on the casual nature of your relationship.
- Be relaxed – be calm and take your time. Dropping the ‘m’ word during a casual fling can freak the other person out.
Rules for Friends with Benefits – The ‘DONT’S’ List:
- Friend each other on Facebook – seeing the other person’s communication with other members of the opposite sex can lead to jealousy and misunderstandings… avoid these potential issues by keeping your online-lives separate.
- Play games – they only lead to confusion and trigger insecurities which lead to emotional outbursts.
- Buy gifts – giving gifts to a casual partner can lead to confusion over the direction the relationship is going. If you want to give a gift make it something you can both enjoy like a dinner, sporting activity, social event. Avoid physical gifts that they will ‘remember you by’.
- Meet the family – avoid the ‘meet my parents’ dinners and get togethers as this can lead to questions and/or expectations from well-meaning parents, not to mention being uncomfortable for your partner. If one or both of you have kids, discuss in advance if you’re going to get involved at that level. Kids can become attached very easily and you don’t want their attachment influencing your decisions about your casual partner.
- Sleepovers – if you don’t want her as your girlfriend (or him as your boyfriend) don’t treat them like one by having sleepovers 5 nights a week. For a friend with benefits… no more than 3 sleepovers per week!
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