Friends with Benefits Relationship
When you hear the term ‘friend with benefits’ sex is often the first thing that springs to mind and for good reason.
A friend with benefits relationship by definition gives you the opportunity to have a sexual relationship with someone you’re close to without having a ‘real’ committed relationship.
But is it really possible to have a long term relationship with one person that is only about sex? Or is a friend with benefits relationship simply an easy way to have a ‘committed’ relationship without the commitment?
he truth is you just don’t know who it is you’re going to go home with when you head out to ‘pick up’ for the night. Having a friend with benefits you can fall back on is certainly a safer alternative but are you there just for the sex or is something more involved?
Those involved in a friend with benefits relationship are often starting off as good friends who want to take their relationship further while keeping it casual or a couple who realise their not compatible in a relationship but want to be more than friends.
Depending on how you look at things, these ‘couples’ (for lack of a better word) are either using the friend with benefits tag as a way to avoid ‘being’ in a committed relationship or simply enjoying sex with a close friend.
Either way it is easy to see that having a friend with benefits relationship is not just about sex.
There’s no denying that finding someone you are really compatible with is fantastic and thankfully this doesn’t always have to be with someone you plan to marry. There are many close friendships around that will never result in marriage – they are simply fantastically close friends who share a very special bond.
Friendship is the key component of a friend with benefits relationship – obviously or you’d just be hooking up with a complete stranger. But introducing sex into a close friendship can be tricky and doesn’t always work.
In fact, if the situation isn’t handled properly, you can end up losing a very special friend. Now don’t be fooled into thinking it’s only the girls who have issues when it comes to being friends with benefits.
There are plenty of examples of guys becoming jealous or developing feelings for their friends. And it’s for this reason a friend with benefits relationship will always be about more than just sex.
First and foremost you are friends and this must take priority over sex – sorry! Yes, a friend with benefits relationship may give you the opportunity and safety of a relationship without having to commit to a relationship but that doesn’t mean you can treat your friend badly or push them aside when a better opportunity comes along.
Being friends first and sexual partners seconds really does give you the best of both worlds if you handle the situation properly from the start.
In an ideal world everyone could have a friend with benefits, it would all be about sex and there would be no emotions involved! Sadly, we live in an imperfect world and no matter how hard we try, at some point many friends with benefits relationships will end because of the emotions involved.
Unfortunately there is no way of predicting if and when the emotional factor of sex will raise its ugly head. And generally (sorry girls), guys are much better at separating friendship from sex.
Friends with benefits will sometimes travel into couple’s territory, especially if you spend a lot of time together socially. In fact, becoming a couple may even feel like a natural progression but for your friends with benefits relationship to survive, you’ll need to decide the next move and where you both stand.
There are plenty of examples of friends with benefits either moving forward as a couple or returning to being just friends but there are also numerous examples of friendships that have ended for good because one person fell for the other or because each person wanted something different from the situation.
Being a friend with benefits is never just about sex – if it was you’d still be out trying to pick up a one night stand instead of spending time with a mate.
A friend with benefits works because (ideally) you both want the same thing – casual sex and the closeness of a relationship with the freedom to see other people and stay single. It may not work for everyone but there are tons of people out there who have had successful friends with benefits relationships – because it’s not just about sex.